9 weeks today

And I am quite sure I'm still pregnant. Don't know whether I'm still pregnant with one or two, but I do feel confident I am still pregnant.

Had a scare on Monday. I passed some beige / fleshy stuff that was stringy and mucousy. It really freaked me out and I spent the morning writing emails and making phone calls. My OB's office said it was nothing to worry about as long as there was no blood (there was no blood - but telling an infertile not to worry is just plain stupid). My RE's office granted me an early ultrasound but when I called the local clinic to make an appointment for Tuesday, they could only get me in to see the nurse tech. We don't want to see her and our appointment tomorrow (Friday) is with our old IVF doctor, so we ended up deciding to just wait it out. I figured I'd either start bleeding or have a loss of symptoms if shit had gone really south.

Turns out my symtpoms are still here. And they're getting stronger.

New symptoms to add to this past week:

--- Insomnia (not new, but returned - it went away around 6 1/2 weeks but it's baaaack!)
--- Nausea, full on
--- And, today, the need to rush to the work bathroom because I was on the verge of puking. Turns out the beautiful peony roses a woman left for me yesterday (that I adored the smell of yesterday) were turning my stomach. They are now in a co-workers office and I have another co-worker's garbage can about 6 inches away from me. Pukey pukey perhaps? Not yet, but it's threatening.
--- Exhaustion - it's been here a while but this week I haven't been able to get to work before 9:30. I am so slow in the mornings, have to lie down a lot, feel nauseus, and just plain old exhausted. Fortunately, the weather has turned back to rainy and chilly and my cats are super happy to sit on topf of me and fall asleep / lull me back to sleep. It makes for a lovely but very late morning!

I have never been this pregnant before. Last summer, for those of you following my old blog, you remember that I blogged about "never being this pregnant before" when I made it to 5w3d. On Monday (the day of the scare), I reached my "never been this pregnant before" mark. Last summer, the fetus measured 8w4d at my ultrasound. So that's as far as I got. Given how I feel, I think I made it past that.

We breathed huge sighs of relief last time ... when we made it past ectopic diagnosis ... when we made it past 5w3d ... when we saw and heard a heartbeat ... and then we lost it all.

No sighs of relief this time. We have a long and potentially very bumpy road ahead of us. Provided tomorrow goes ok, we have our first OB appointment set for 5/21 and then our first MFM (specialist in idential twins) appointment on 5/31.

For now, though, I AM STILL PREGNANT!