6dp5dt and some real symptoms

Today I'm 6dp5dt. Last summer, other than cramping, I had no real symptoms until well after my beta. This time, though, the symptoms are hard core.

My food aversion is on. Today I have eaten yoghurt with granola and a banana for breakfast at 7:30, some walnuts around 8:45 and just had an apple with peanut butter for lunch (noon). Despite eating that and only that, I feel like I had a giant spaghetti meal of carbs followed by dessert. I even passed up a bowl of candy earlier. This is serious.

My insomnia is also on. I didn't expect it so I can't think it's my mind fucking with me. I was exhausted all day yesterday but dragged myself to yoga (but then sat out most of the poses despite it being a "yoga for fertility" class taught by a mom through donor egg because I was too scared I'd jiggle something loose). I got home, forced myself to eat some lentil soup I made before leaving, and then crashed at 9:15. Still, I was wide wide wide stinkin' awake from about 1:15 until after 3. I tried everything to get back to sleep but I felt jetlagged - there was no way, without the use of a sleep aid which I didn't want to use, that I was getting back to sleep.

My boobs are still enormous, but they've been that way since I started the massive amounts of estrogen. They are rather tender.

My eyes are burning with exhaustion and no amount of water helps (they're not dry). Only closing them does, which is impossible as I sit at in my office!

I am also having mild and constant cramping. I am telling myself "your uterus is growing" and avoiding the "am I miscarrying?" worry.

I am trying - rather successfully, if I do say so myself - to stay in the moment. I am not figuring out how to manipulate an early beta (trust me, it would be easy - I am seeing my naturopath tomorrow and if I called my OB up and asked for on, she'd give me one no doubt). I am occasionally thinking about Friday but more often, just thinking about the here and now.

I am hopeful.

I am loving these symptoms. I hope they continue. I hope I get nauseus and constipated. I want it all.

I sent a picture of my hpts to my Seattle nurse and she responded immediately "thank you for making me smile on Monday morning" and then also asked "are you going to test every day until Friday? Tell me if not, otherwise I'll worry about you." Very cute! I'll have to remember to update her with an email or a photo so she isn't worrying.

Without further ado, my test from this morning at 7am compared to yesterday's at 10am: