"Good luck tomorrow, darl'!"

The woman I'm trying to make a grandma came to visit this weekend. Partly, for Easter, but mainly because (1) my transfer got delayed, (2) Sky died, and (3) it was going to be in the mid- to upper-70s this weekend. I needed her here, and I don't think she remembers the last time I told her I needed her. She found a mileage ticket and arrived Thursday night.  We walked our other dog every morning bright and early and stopped to get (decaf for me) lattes.  We made meals and saw our friends. My mum and I took a bike ride on Friday. We got very small sun tans on our arms and faces. We slept well. We watched movies and basketball in the evenings after the sun set. We bbq'd. We ate chocolate on Easter and babysat good friends' 4 year old yesterday. We gardened and gardened and gardened. Between me, her and hubby, we collectively put in 40+ hours in the garden. Our gardens look amazing and - almost as importantly - my mind was completely off the transfer. It was quite possibly THE. BEST. LONG. weekend I've had in a very very very long time.

It wasn't until I dropped her at the airport this morning and she said ...

"good luck tomorrow, darl'" that I really focused on it.

Tomorrow.

My transfer. Of two of our currently frozen four beautiful, perfect embryos.

Tomorrow starts a long-ass 10 day wait until my first beta. Tomorrow starts what I HOPE SO MUCH will be a long 9 month wait. Just as easily, but not as likely, it starts the beginning of bad news.

I am focusing on there absolutely FANTASTIC statistics (approximately 70% for a singleton). I need to ignore - as best I can - what has happened to me over the past 3 1/4 years and last donor egg bank cycle. This is a brand new situation, with a brand new donor and a LOT of new stuff going on in my body - my B12 levels are GOOD, my vitamin D levels are GOOD, I'm on mthfr-friendly folic acid and pre-natals, I've had the natural killer cells IV recently and I just had my progesterone checked to make sure it's ok (results later today). My boobs are SO FULL and tender (so I can't use that as a pregnancy symptom) from all the estrogen. My body seems ready. Tomorrow, we'll hear what my lining got to with the 6-by-tomorrow progesterone shots.

Tomorrow it is. We're leaving for Seattle around 10 tomorrow. Take my clinic-prescribed valium (they order that for transfers) at 1:30, check-in at the clinic at 2, and a transfer at 2:30. Then to our hotel for a night where I'll sleep off the valium and my hubby will explore Seattle and get us some healthy dinner. Then home on Wednesday for two days of self-prescribed bed rest (this clinic does not require it but my other clinic did, so I am trained to do a bed rest). I won't actually be on bed rest as much as staying quiet. So I'll wander around our beautiful garden with our dog and smell the fragrances. A few friends have offered to come over and a friend I met through resolve is coming over to do a relaxation session (she is Alexander Technique trained).

I got this!