32 weeks - we made it - no pic though

(Sorry no pic. Unlike earlier in the pregnancy when I bounced more out of bed and took a bump shot, getting out of bed these days is virtually impossible, which leaves me groggy and running late, so I forget to take a photo. Photo coming probably over the weekend.)

Yesterday, October 24, we hit what all doctors are calling "safe zone." We saw our MFM and our OB last week and both said what was music to our ears: "safe zone." It's an amazing feeling, surreal really, and we are feeling so lucky to be here. My hubby was remembering back to when our RE graduated us way back when. She said "you want to make it to 24 weeks, but really there is a lot of development that happens between 24 and 28, so try to make it to 28." She thought they were coming REALLY early. Back then, we hoped and hoped and hoped to make it to 28. Little did we know that we would SAIL right past it and then some.

Over the past week, the infertile in me has raised its head a bit. I have found myself hyper sensitive to absolutely everything going on in my body - back to the days when every twinge or cramp or symptom got over analyzed and kept me awake at night. I've found myself doing that again: "the baby movements seem smaller" (doc told me they do get smaller as the babies run out of room) or "I'm not hungry really but I am pooping a lot, is this a sign of early labor?" (turns out eating small meals constantly adds up!) or "I have more heartburn, is this preeclampsia?" (resolved this one last week and will look again at the MFM appointment in a few hours). While it is VERY important to be aware of changes, I have decided not to hyper- and overanalyze. What does that look like? Well, it means staying in touch with my docs and reporting changes, but it also means giving myself a break. So far - knock on wood - my body has shown that it is not only ready but literally MADE to carry twins. As far as pregnancies go, this has been a dream pregnancy. As far as twin pregnancies go, it's been more on the side of "miraculous." I need to trust my body. I need to trust my babies. And I need to continue to trust my doctors. They have helped us get this far with frequent monitoring and reassuring. My near constant craving for fruit no doubt has infused these babies with lots of healthy vitmins and nutrients, and my good fortune of having almost zero nausea and absolutely zero vomiting has allowed me to eat healthily throughout and take my vitamins and supplements every single day.

I know things can change overnight. And I know that having a very healthy pregnancy does NOT mean I'll make it to 35 weeks, like we are hoping. But certainly taking the emotional stress out of it and giving myself a break and ... here goes ... ENJOYING THE END OF THIS PREGNANCY!! ... can only help.

This will likely be THE. ONLY. TIME. I am pregnant. In my whole life! I am not expecting (or even hoping) to be that infertile who gets knocked up accidentally a few months after giving birth. I am not thinking or hoping that we'll do another cycle with our two remaining embryos (who knows what we'll do with them, but for now, we will continue paying to store them). I am expecting to have my babies sometime in the next 5 weeks and 6 days and that to be it for my ovaries and uterus. It takes a whole lot of stress out of the "what happens during delivery" concept but it also is a good reminder: ENJOY THE END OF THIS PREGNANCY!

So here goes nothing. Since they won't let us get past 38 weeks, I know I have 5 weeks and 6 days at the LONGEST. And I know I have at least today at the SHORTEST. Somewhere in between then, my baby girls will come. They'll have an official birthday (wild!) and their names will become public. We'll know whether they have hair at birth (like the ultrasound showed) and what their lenght and weights at birth are. For now, though, that all remains a mystery. All I know is that I am loving being pregnant and I will allow myself to ENJOY THE END OF THIS PREGNANCY!

31+4 - an update

I am SO sorry I haven't posted in a while. I had good intentions on many occasions to post, but then life got in the way. And when I say "life," I really mean "my hands." They are TERRIBLE. So swollen and sore. When I wake up, after not sleeping at all (due to needing to pee 5-6 times a night, sore hips and pulsating tingling hands), I cannot make more than a "C" with my left hand. It takes a while before I can make a very tender almost-fist.

Another reason is that I thought I had broken our computer. I randomly dropped it (thank you, hands) and at first, the screen wasn't working. Miraculously, it appears to be ok. Hope it stays that way.

At my OB's suggestion, I saw a DO last week for the carpel tunnel. I will be seeing him weekly until I deliver. Everyone has said "it'll only get worse before it gets better" and "the best medicine for it is delivery." Yikes. As it stands, unless it gets instantly better with delivery, I won't be holding my babies while standing up as I don't trust my hands one bit.

On better news, the babies are doing GREAT. They got weighed 2 weeks ago and each baby is over 4 pounds - ahead of the game, which is fantastic. And I'm rapidly approaching the golden "32 week" date (Thursday) so things are really looking good around here. The girls' fluids are still the same, my cervix is long and closed (at the last check) and I've only been having random contractions so nothing anyone is worried about.

I did have to go in last week unexpectedly to the specialist because I woke up and my face seemed more swollen than normal. Hubby immediately commented on it so I called in. They had me come in for a urine sample (negative for protein - yeah!), blood work (negative for anything bad - yeah!) and a non-stress test (NST) because my blood pressure was ever so slightly elevated. Despite it's name, it was stressful for this mama but things looked great. Hilariously, baby A wanted NOTHING to do with the monitor. Everytime they put it on her, she'd do the biggest move I've ever seen and push it off. They'd have to come back replace it and tighten it. Finally she agreed to leave it alone. Baby B, on the other hand, didn't move it away once and just was content with them listening to her (perfect, beautiful) heartbeat. Here's a picture of the NST on my (enormous) belly.

A few days after this fiasco, I went in to see my OB at a regularly scheduled appointment. She measured my 31 week belly - I am measuring 41 weeks! It makes me want to scream when people (and I mean everyone) says "you're so small for twins!" They don't seem to hear me when I say "I am measuring more than full term for a single baby despite having 9 weeks of pregnancy left." Oh well. I am HUGE. Here's a belly pic from last week. Not sure where I was, but it was sometime just before 31 weeks.

Last week, we had our final two baby showers. My work threw me a lunchtime one on Monday and it was lovely. A pot luck with so many supportive and smiley faces. I shared it with a co-worker who is 5 weeks behind me (with one baby). Then, Friday night, hubby's work threw us what we joked was a "drunken baby shower." It was at a local brewery and everyone was happily getting tipsy (or worse) on microbrews and wine. It was so fun but by the time I got home - after being at work all day, then at the OB appointment, then straight to the baby shower - my feet were SO SWOLLEN. Yikes. Fluid retention (remember my hands!) is definitely my main pregnancy symptom. I'll take it as it's my only one, but it is really getting in the way of me doing anything. Permanently numb fingers make doing anything virtually impossible.

What else? Oh, a week and a half ago, we went in for our "car seat safety check." The seats went in great but once they were in, we quickly realized that our Subaru Forester wasn't big enough. I had to bring my seat forward almost a foot from where I like to have it to drive. I could barely get in the driver's seat with my giant belly. Hubby and I spent Saturday trying to figure out a solution: manipulate the carseats; I'll just drive with no shoes on ever. None of those "solutions" seemed viable. So we went car shopping on Sunday and traded our fully paid off 2006 Subaru Forester for a car payment on a 2013 Subaru Outback (with 10,000 miles on it). We are, despite the car payment, so happy with the new car. AND IT'S STICK SHIFT! I grew up in Europe and have never owned an automatic car. I chocked it up to enough of an identity crisis to be having babies (I've gained over 50 pounds already) and to be taking 9 months off work ... but in reality, I JUST WANT A STICK SHIFT! My identity is wrapped up in that and, more importantly, I love love love driving stick shift. Friends with kids have told me "you'll want your extra hand to deal with your babies" but I just can't agree with that. I don't want to be an unsafe driver and therefore, I don't want to be using my other hand to turn around partially or fully even for a second. If there is a true emergency, I'll do what I need to do and / or pull over. But if it's something benign, in my opinion, it's not worth risking everyone and other drivers on the road to turn around. So, therefore, I have my second hand still for my stick shift. YEAH YEAH YEAH! I also really want my daughters to learn how to drive stick shift for so many reasons. This will get them accustomed to it very early on. Oh, and the carseats fit in PERFECTLY with so much extra room.

I'll try to be better about posting. I'll for sure get a 32 week picture up once (knock on wood) I get there.