Tuesday, April 30, 2013

The unexpected 4th option (ultrasound, 6w5d)

Hubby and I walked into the ultrasound this morning and I said "we've got three options: 0 in there, 1 in there, 2 in there still." He looked at me like I was insane for pointing out the obvious. Then I said, "I suppose there's a 4th option, and things are delayed and we have to come back." We talked that fourth option out a bit and then tossed it aside because it didn't much sense.

Never in a million years did we expect the fourth option we did get.

You'll remember that we had 2 in there just 10 days ago: baby A and baby B.

Sadly, baby A had no heartbeat today.

But there are still two in there.

That's right, baby B split, and we now have B1 and B2.

All three (including A) measured 6w4d. The Bs had heartbeats of 113 and 123 bpm.

I'm not going to lie. I am freaked out beyond belief. One has died already, making me wonder if my body is killing off these pregnancies like it has in the past. Will I lose 3 this time, just 2 or just the 1? Will I get a take-home baby out of this? I felt somewhat confident last week that we would - now my confidence is shaken.

I am also freaked out about the idea of identical twins. I know two women who went through Twin on Twin Transfusion Syndrome (read here). It's very scary. One friend wasn't diagnosed in time and while she gave birth to two girls, one was severely disabled and died at 18 months old (the other little girl is perfect). The other friend was diagnosed early and underwent a surgery that worked (it can trigger pre-term labor). She has two beautiful girls who are almost 2 years old.

I know I'm getting ahead of myself. That by next Monday (my next ultrasound), this could all be over. Or there could only be one in there still.

That all said, I have also come to realize that this (so far) is the best possible outcome for today. If we'd gone in and baby A had died but only baby B was left, I would be terrified that my body was killing pregnancies and B would be dead soon. I would be close to certifiable by now.
If we'd gone in and all three were beating happily away, we would have had to think about selective reduction (that was the first thing that went through my head when she announced there was a split - we have to terminate one, we can't have triplets - too dangerous and too great a risk of losing all three). So fortunately that is not a decision we have to make.

And, while identical twins are scary (TTTS) and it might have been more ideal to see a dead identical twin and then the other B plus A still beating, that isn't an option. That's not our journey.
So, other than shock for the rarity of a split embryo, plus the sadness for losing baby A, plus the fear of what's to come next, I think this is about as good an outcome as possible.

We go back next Monday at 11:30 for another u/s - to check on B1 and B2 and to confirm that A is in fact done / dead / disappearing.
Didn't see this twist coming.
Here they are (sadly, no picture of the two of them in the same sac - they do share a sac, though - "nice and cozy" as my mum said): **
B1 crown rump length (CRL) (named A on this, but I like B1 better):
B1 heartbeat (113 bmp):


B2 heartbeat (123 bmp):

** the pics all say I am 6w6d, but that is wrong. I am actually only 6w5d.


  1. Wow, a definitely unexpected outcome.

  2. Whoa. I'm speechless. That's definitely not what I was expecting. I completely understand why you're terrified. But, you're being monitored. And you're doing everything humanly possible. Hang in there and I hope that Monday brings calming news.

  3. Wow, that's crazy! Hoping next week shows B1 and B2 growing great. So sorry about baby A. I can't imagine all of the emotions you're feeling right ow.

  4. That must have been such a shock. I'm very sorry about baby A. It's good news that the B babies are doing well though. I know the waiting is hard. Hopefully your next appointment will bring you some peace of mind.

  5. wow! very unexpected! wishing you the best of luck at your appointment, i am sorry for your loss but feel optimistic that you can still have a very happy outcome from this cycle!

  6. Holy moly, how anxiety-provoking! Deep breaths.
    I never cease to be amazed by the unexpected outcomes I hear about.
    sending you peaceful thoughts.

  7. Wow, that is indeed an unexpected twist, and I can understand that you're worried because whatever happens, it's a lot to take in and process emotionally. I am so sorry about baby A, and also relieved to hear that Babies B1 and 2 are doing well and seem to be cozy in there. I know it's easier said than done, but one day at a time. Thinking of you.

  8. xo, and I cannot believe the turn of events, I'm thinking good thoughts for monday and the following mondays until you are clearly on a path of less stress... hang in there.... try not to stress too much, you have been growing 2 babies at different points, I think that pretty incredible.... You know the expression you can only handle what you are given, it's true, you are amazingly strong, powerful and carrying two babies... you can handle this. But wow what an outcome....

  9. WOW! I'm so sorry about baby A but that's great news that Baby B1 and B2 are doing well. Monday will be here before you know it and you will hopefully continue to get good news on the babies!