Today, I picked up my meds. I start Lupron on February 24 and wanted to wait as long as I could to pick them up - keep the meds fresh, I guess! This weekend is a long weekend and we'll be in Seattle on Friday for my SIS, then we're headed to visit two sets of friends in southern Oregon and on the coast on Saturday and Sunday. The pharmacy will be closed on Sunday and Monday and I don't drive to work normally so it's hard to pick up my meds during the week. Then, next weekend we are going away to the coast with two sets of couple friends, and I start my Lupron that Sunday morning. So, when I had to drive out to western Oregon for work, I decided to pick up my meds on the way home. Here they are:
I have been thinking a lot about 1 versus 2 embryos for transfer. During my own-egg fresh IVF cycle, there was no question: we were putting 2 back in. There ended up being no "decision" as we only had 2 left by day 5 and they were shitty quality (I believe they were actually dead, but that's a different conversation). So we put them both in.
For our first donor egg bank cycle last summer, there was also no question: 2 it is! This was the case even though they were both perfect, grade AA embryos. I didn't hesitate for even a second.
Leading up to this cycle, there was no question in my mind. I even blogged about it a few weeks back. That I had told friends "wild horses couldn't convince me to put 1 in." And then I started to question it.
I suspect one of two things is happening: either (1) I am just feeling really good about this cycle and the chances of a take-home baby, or (2) I am getting scared of "wasting" two embryos in one shot. I am going to go with (1) because I truly think that's what it is. I am feeling good and healthy and excited.
At yoga on Sunday night, I asked the two moms (suffering secondary infertility) whether they wish they had twins and that they weren't desperately trying for a second. One of them had just broken down in our weekly "check-in" and told us she was considering giving up. She told me "I never thought it would be this hard to get pregnant the 2nd time. The first IUI worked last time." The other mom, who is in her 2ww, told me "I would do anything to avoid this round." Hearing their fears and anxiety made it very clear to me: I AM PUTTING TWO IN.
I am closing in on 36 (in August). Things in my uterus and my body are not going to get even MORE baby friendly as I continue to get older. I think it's hard to get pregnant now? Imagine what it'll be like when I'm pushing 38. No thank you. If I can get two out of this round and BE DONE WITH BABY MAKING, it is worth the risks and stress to me. I understand there are complications with twins. Hubby and I have talked about it ad nauseum. But hearing those women and seeing the fear in their eyes as they start to sit with the idea of their kids being a singleton made my decision easy. I don't want to have to spend $30,000 and the emotional pain of adoption to make a sibling. If we choose to do that, it's one thing. But I don't want to have to.
Two it is.
What do you ladies all thing of one versus two?